KYA NAAM HAI

So Akshay Joshi and I are traveling in the metro after yet another day filled with contradictions and agreements i.e. the hindi stage play practice.
This is a story about how it took us exactly 3 stations to decide the name of our play “Kya Baat Hai?”

Vishwavidalaya metro staion –
Akshay – Nima, hamare play ka kya hoga? Sab plays ban chuke hain abhi tak
Me- ( trying to be supportive but failing to do so) – arey hoga hoga sab hoga


Metro from Jahangeerpuri comes, hence over crowded with men who, at any given moment are ready to show their…. Lets’ just say “sexual prowess”, but we decide to get in anyway, coz let’s face it-I am a good girl and I get home before the sun sets ( straight face)

Akshay – yaar abhi tak play ka naam bhi decide nahin hua hai
Me- how about “Baatein?”
Akshay looks at me with a blank face and tries to be polite – err…. Bahut simple type nahin ho jayega, people usually do talk in most of the plays so……
Me- ( trying really hard I swear and trying to sound intelligent) – how about “Kuch baatein” ?
Akshay ( with a look of “that is so lame” ignores my suggestion and says ) – how about “keh bhi do?”
Random guy shoves me “accidentally” Akshay tries to give menacing look, I snarl and the guy moves away

Metro reaches Vidhan Sabha, nobody gets on or off…. It’s a cemetery of a station

Me –“ keh bhi do”??? it’s sounds more like a love story where this poor guy with a heart of gold is too scared to do “pyaar ka izaar” to some rich college girl!
Akshay ( wondering why do I imagine so much) – hmmmmmm
Me- ( now in the mood to irritate Akshay ) – “keh do na”
Akshay ( exasperated ) – yeh Yash Raj productions nahi hai
Me ( 2nd attempt to irritate him) – “kaho na kaho”
Akshay – ( now seriously wondering why the hell did he ask me to work with him on the play )Emraan hasmi ko promote nahi karma !

Metro stops at Civil Lines, much to Akshay’s disappointment no one from IP gets on to our wagon. Now both of us are ( seriously ) deep in thought

Akshay ( after a lot of thinking ) – “Kahin Unkahin Baatein” ?
Me – actually not bad.
Akshay- kuch aur sochte hain yaar
Me- ( getting my sudden spasm of anger at him) – oho kya baat hai yaar Akshay “Kahin Unkahin Baatein” mein kya problem hai….. sahi toh hai.
Akshay – Arey!!!!!! Kya Baat hai!
Me (still irritated) – KYA!!!! Kya baat hai matlab kya?
Akshay – Arey Arunima, play ka naam “Kya Baat Hai”
ME- ooooooohhhhh….. Sahi!!!
Akshay – toh done?
Me- Done !

Metro Reaches Kashmiri Gate, Joshi rushes out like a baby tornado. There is a stupid lopsided smile still stuck on my face over the conversation that just transpired, I suddenly realize there are a bunch of men staring at me rather curiously as if I am an alien species. I say “arey kay baat hai?” and make my long treacherous journey towards the women’s coach.