Ramblings.....

I am turning 20….. kinda big deal huh? Now I am OFFICIALLY old!!

Just a few more days to go before I turn twenty!! Hmmmm… ok I think I should be feeling kinda sad or bitter about that am no longer a teenager, in fact am trying to make myself feel like that, I mean what the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t I feel depressed that I’m like “old” now! Maybe it’s too much of a shock or maybe I’ll get the full impact of it when I actually turn 20 on 11^th. Is it gonna look weird when I’ll go down to buy teen magazines, and wiki for teen pop idols, and dig for teen trends????

This is so weird! Maybe it’s not a big deal at all…. I mean whatever … my thoughts my habits my nature won’t change over night…so probably that’s the reason I really don’t feel anything about turning twenty. I mean it’s only just a number isn’t it?

Have you people seen the movie – The 40 Year Old Virgin…so well technically am half way there! Okay please it’s not that I am desperate for sex and shit but you know ….20 is like old, like an adult who are responsible and rational and sensible…. Err I am none of those really, why is it so hard to act like a grown up! I just don’t get it most of my friends have maturity level way beyond my freaking age! Creepy!

My teenage life has been normal as well as not so normal…… so is everyone else’s right?

When I think of my teen years ….. there are certain things that always come into my mind starting from education to crushes to family crises and all…. Things which had an impact on my life so far… to name a few are-

Harry Potter – I literary grew up with Harry Potter …. Spent 10 years with him… starting from age 10 to 17!

The book – Emperor’s new clothes – this is how I took up my interest in books, this was the first book I ever read for just reading… this was way beyond my teenage age though …probably when I was 6

Celebrity crushes – My God I had like so many of them, the biggest one was Brett Lee (the Aussie fast bowler) I still have over 20,000 pictures of his tucked in my drawers and in my computer, I remember the day when he came to CP for the launch of New Balance shoes n I cried like a mad bitch coz even though I was right in front the security wouldn’t let me get into the showroom and Brett saw me and signaled them to let me in …. That was so freaking awesome! Then lately it’s been Orlando, Michael Cera, and Shia Labeouf….oh Shia and I share the same birthday too! Yay!!!

School and college – I have been to a number of schools and shockingly have been a part of number of colleges too! …. My school life was shitty, especially the last two years, that school had dumbfucks for students and it was almost next to zero in terms of ECA you don’t know sometimes how badly I regretted going there…. But then I did earn a couple great friends like Adi and Vasu. St. George’s was kinda all right! So was ASH and SP. In KMC I seriously love my teachers more than my friends most of the times …god they are like so cool!

Extra curriculum – Apart from dance I feel glad that I am good in a lot of arty stuff and have devoted a reasonable amount of time to them; music (piano/sync) is in my blood, I was a decent artist during mid school, but had to give that up coz of studies and I really wanted to concentrate on music, probably it’s all coz all my cousins on my mother’s side are fantastic in painting and sketching and music! And for the last couple of years I have been I tried my hand at acting I think I did fairly all right and am looking forward to do better.

Sports- I am an average TT and baddy player and my swimming is quite acceptable but that’s it! I suck at sports and it’s so frustrating at times!

Daydreaming, imagination and downright nonsense – you have no idea how many times I married Orlando, I invented this character called Luthien (yea that’s my “Elfish” name) and she’s a witch, and she’s a part of the fellowship of the ring and then she and Legolas fall in love and she has this spear like wand, and she blasts of the chunks of boulders with it during the war at Minas Tirith and she has this really cool saber…. Ok you get the point … oh and then in Harry Potter, they are not 3 best friends but four … you can guess… these days I have been making out a lot with Shia with a lot of Richard Marx, Shania twain and err rage against the machine playing on my ipod(in case you don’t know who he is …. He’s the guy in transformers, Indiana Jones and Disturbia) … well I can afford to be promiscuous in my dreams at least!

Boyfriends- I have learned something important I have ghastly taste in men, and I have made terrible misjudgments and my crushes…. Uuurrrhhh once I came to really know them I thanked god I never went out with them and with the ones I did….. I am like… shit what was I thinking… Anyway it was a learning experience … am not gonna say am hard or tough or whatever it’s just that I can’t be one of those who lets anyone run all over me and I simply can’t nurture a male ego no matter how crucial it’s to them! But things seem to be doing pretty well now….

Another thing which I have learned is my mum instincts are always right; she was always right about my friends …. My god I hate to admit it to her!

All these years I never had a lot of friends… I mean yea there a number of them for just namesake, the few friends I had/have were really amazing and loyal! And really believe friends are gods’ way for apologizing for a bunch of horrible relatives! And yea am happy to say I am in touch (whatever little it might be) most of them!

Material girl- I am materialistic, and I am not ashamed, non living things are more faithful to me and they tend to last longer and are easily gettable!

Fashion – no don’t worry I am not gonna start on it all over again….you people had too much of it all ready!

The most important thing I have realized this that live in the present and act accordingly, I see people around me (people of my age and elder to me alike) worry a hell lot about the future, and they do a lot of things thinking about the future which affects their present. I mean yea I agree “looking ahead” is important but c’mon don’t lose what you have right now.

I learned; do what you really want to do, it is really important not to get affected by what people around you think, do or what they want from you. Follow your instincts even though the road you might be taking is long and hard but at least you’ll have the satisfaction that you are doing truly what you always wanted to do and you didn’t end up like the rest- zillion stuck up in something just coz that’s the hot new thing or that’s something which guaranties a so called “secured future” it’s a lot of bullshit really!

So over all my score ain’t really that bad …. I guess….. I hope!

Oh…..Well, I just bought this life size teddy and named it Orli “The Tipsy” Bear. He is so damn cute and huggable!

Hmmm I have all my second year books stocked up but I haven’t finished half of them… really depressing!

I think I’ll go read one of them now….cya!