OF UGLINESS ......

It wasn’t easy to pay attention in English class. Our yearbooks had just been passed out, so while the teacher droned on, we were quietly signing books and passing them around the room

Mine was somewhere at the back of the class. I couldn’t wait to get it back. What would my friends say of me? Would there be words of praise? Admiration? When class got over, I quickly found my yearbook. And then it caught my eye: someone had written large words across the last page of my book: HI THERE UGLY!

I had never really considered whether or not I was “good looking” but now I knew. I was ugly, if someone at the back of that grade-four class thought I was ugly; there were probably many who agreed. I studied myself in the mirror: big nose, freckles, slightly overweight, not athletic. Yes it must be true, I thought. I’m ugly. I told no one any of this. There seemed to be no need. It was a fact: I was ugly.

Years went by and I got my (in literally the truest sense) first bestfriends, yes you read it right; “friends” like someone I would totally connect with! And it still never fails to surprise me; how!?! 9^th grade, house vice-captain, one of the smart kids, good in extra curriculum, wow! Can life be so good for someone like me?

Ankit and Swati were amazing and I would keep telling them so more then often and I meant it. Ankit would reply, “and you’re so cute” I never looked him in the eyes when he said this. I felt it was one of those things bestfriends “have to say” to their bestfriends. I would simply look down and remember that the true verdict on my looks was tucked away in my fourth grade yearbook. Swati would keep telling me that she loved my style and I would simply laugh it off, she would even try to look like my “Xerox” or something, if today somebody did something like this i would be be pissed but on the contrary I used to be surprised; “why the hell is she trying to be like me out of all people”

One day Ankit asked, “Why is it that you never look at me when I say you’re pretty?
I decided to tell him about the yearbook and my conclusions. “You can’t believe that! It’s wrong! Somebody who didn’t even know you in fourth grade can’t be taken seriously!”

I was still not utterly convinced I poured to story out to Swati and the chat I add with Ankit and she said “I know you and I am with you, I think you’re pretty and adorable and I think I’ve proved that” so was I going to believe her… or that old graffiti?

I thought about that question for a long time and about how God doesn’t make junk. Who was I going to believe? I chose to believe them and God.

I still have a big nose, though I have shed the extra pounds, but thanks to my everyday routine at the end of the day I do end up looking like “Medusa” and you could probably find people who would say that I am ugly. But I’m not one of them! And thanks you two that was the best moral boast ever…..

As time goes on and I listen more and more to those who love me, like me and know me well, & I know I am pretty…

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, you see debris
Now and then, you get insecure
From all the pain, you're so ashamed

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

No matter what we do
No matter what they say
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay

And everywhere we go
The sun won't always shine
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...