THE YOGA CLASS: WHAT NOT TO DO THERE

Ok! I can do this. No problem

It’s simply a matter of letting my higher self take over, achieving enlightenment, & becoming a radiant being of white light…. Wait… what am I saying?

Surreptitiously I adjust myself on my yoga mat; I am sitting in the Sports and Health club, Saket, I can see bright colors of the evening sun, and if I swivel my head a little I can get a glimpse of the tennis lawns, and when I swivel my head even further, I can see Ankit, my close, fresh from NZ friend, in the cut-off linen trousers and tatty old t-shirt, sitting cross legged, eyes closed…. I know! It’s unbelievable. After around 4 months of staying away from home( & country) he has turned to be a completely different person, thankfully just in terms of looks, tanned and lean, long hair and sun-bleached; as though he can feel my gaze, he opens his eyes and smiles and I beam back happily

“Siddhasana” our yoga teacher said, “clear your minds of all extraneous thought”

I don’t want to boast, but I find clearing my mind pretty easy, I don’t quite get why anyone would find it difficult! I mean, not thinking has to be a lot easier than thinking, doesn’t it?

“Focus on your breathing” the teacher said

Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in…

The college ratings just came out in the new India Today edition and Miranda ahead of Hansraj in science HAHAHA what rubbish! Some one should see the cut offs to start with and then….

“Arunima” my teachers’ voice made me jump, standing in front of me, gazing at me with his all-knowing look he has got “you do very well; you have a beautiful spirit, unworldly soul”

I feel a sparkle of delight all over, I, Arunima, have a beautiful spirit! I knew it! I stare back totally mesmerized “material possession aren’t important to me” I say breathlessly. “All that matters is yoga”

“You have found your path” my teacher said

There’s an odd kind of snorting sound from Ankit’s direction, and I look round to see him glancing over us in amusement, I knew it! That stupid jerk! Well I know he was just jealous and sceptic! So he thinks all I can think of is brands and books and drama and guys (well Orlando Bloom is hot!), no sir!! I’ll show you mate!! And me being a shopaholic is a big fat lie (maybe not that fat, but a lie is a lie)

“Soon you’ll be walking on hot coals” my teacher gestures, ashy coals, a nervous laugh goes around the group, the said teacher sometime before they might just demonstrate it someday, this is what we all should be aiming for, apparently you attain a state a bliss so great you can’t actually feel the coals burning your feet. You’re totally pain free!

Psssstt; what I am secretly hoping is, it’ll work when I wear six-inch stilettos, too!

We move to vajrasana pose, I see a tiny man carrying some bags, my teacher and the guy has a brief conversation and the man trudges away again, “this man was trying to sell necklaces and bracelets in half rates, I told him you have minds on higher things” the teacher explained. Oh come on! A little bit of jewellery shopping won’t do any harm and in D.U. you need to be in sync with all this, you simply can’t afford to commit fashion suicide! And hey wait a minute; nobody else seems to be thinking my way, infact they agree with the teacher, uff ignorant silly people, and Ankit sees the expressions change on my face and starts grinning, I know that you know what I am thinking about, so cut it out, you’re making me mad!

“These people don’t understand that meditation is food for your soul, fake sapphire bracelet, aquamarine pendant, beads and metal and oxidized silver, how does this compare to your inner enlightenment?” the annoying teacher goes on…..

Aquamarine??? Wow. I wonder how much- not that I am interested, just out of academic interest, chemistry student remember?

My eyes drift towards the guy’s retreating figure, “he kept repeating; half the rates, half the rates” the teacher shakes his head

Oh god! That’s cheap! Stop it! Stop it! I am here for spiritual enlightenment not some stupid aquamarine!

Anyway the man is really gone now, “and now” the teacher smiles, “the halasana pose. Arunima demonstrate”

“Absolutely” I smiled back, but something is wrong, I don’t feel contentment, I don’t fell tranquility. The oddest feeling is welling up inside me, driving everything out; it’s getting stronger and stronger…

and suddenly I can’t contain it anymore, before I know what’s happening, I’m running in bare feet as fast as I can towards the man, my lungs are burning and my feet are smarting, shit! I don’t believe it he’s gone, where did he vanish to?

I stand there for few moments, regaining my breath, peering in all directions, I make my way back, and I damn it... am I in trouble? You bet!

“Err…. I heard a voice inside my head no I mean heart… yea so it was calling me… it was my soul calling me , I was in a trance, so I ran, umm sorry…”I explain, And the teacher believes it! So not so unlucky day after all, “aren’t your feet hurting?” Ankit chipps in, I see myself standing on the marble, which is supposed to be terribly hot cause of the sun, but somehow I don’t feel anything

“I can answer that” the teacher said, “she was concentrating on one goal, one pure image and this has driven her body achieve a supernatural state. Karmic bliss”

Huh!?! Ok if u say so! “It was nothing really” I say with a modest smile. “Just you know spiritual enlightenment.”

“Was it a white light” someone enquired

“Was it a kind of shiny blue- green?” comes Ankit’s voice from back, I look at him sharply, he’s gazing totally straight faced

“I don’t remember” I say in dignified tones “it ain’t important”

“Did it feel like …” Ankit appears to think hard. “Like the links of a chain were pulling you along?”

“No” I say shortly “it didn’t, actually, I think you probably have to have a higher appreciation of spiritual matters to understand.”

“I see” Ankit nods gravely

“Ankit you must be really proud” the teacher beams at him. “Isn’t this the most extraordinary thing you have seen your friend do?”

“Sir” he says, “take it from me. This is nothing”

“Greetings O Spiritual One” says Ankit as I get into the car; finally the crazy class is over!

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a beautiful spirit” I retort

“Insanely” agrees Ankit; both of us look at each other and we start laughing our heads off. Ouch!! My feet …..! And yeah… no yoga for me anymore!