Last week, I went to Goa with family friends and through out the flight my mom who is shit scared of heights, sat like a stone with her eyes closed, the look on her face was hilarious, sorry for being mean, but yea that look was something, anyway so there was this little girl seated before us and you know how kids are like; she was going on and on, and man even my ipod won’t cut her voice out, and that was freaking annoying, all this while the plane was gaining height and finally it got steady, and the little girls mumbles out, “mummy hum bhagwaan ke pass rahe hai na?” I couldn’t help but smile; bhagwaan ke pass jana, that’s something like you die and then you go to heaven, and the kid thought we are flying off to heaven, ok so that was an innocent remark, and “the look” on my mom’s face was still stuck here and now looked even more… err noticeable!
Suddenly I my mind drifted to the Looney Toons Cartoons (I know my mind jumps from one topic to the other which have no possible or sane connection what so ever!) like the Road Runner, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck,Tweety,Sylvester,Marvin the Martian; basically those cartoons which goes against the laws of physics (no wonder I love them! ) and I got this idea about “Last Words” like you know funny things people ( cartoons) say before they drop dead or basically the funny situations , like when an ACNE time bomb blows up in Daffy’s face.
So here’s the list of some “famous last words” I penned during the flight to
"Oh my God!"
- "Jesus Christ!"
- "I know Bob said it looks like real dynamite."
- "Of course it's sturdy."
- "The pin was in there seven seconds ago." (Note: grenades go off after eight seconds)
- " huh!?! What truck?"
- "What could go wrong?"
- "Oops..."
- "I think I turned it off."
- "I'm wot runk."
- "What does this button do?"
- "Do you smell smoke?"
- "Aaaaiieeeeeeee!!!"
- "Auggh!"
- "Oh sh-"
- "Don't worry. It's not loaded."
- "It's perfectly safe."
- "Welcome [hic] aboard. This is [hic] your, um, captain. [Hic]"
- "I've done this opperation twice already!"
- "Why, the next time I see that axe murderer...."
- "Whoops, I dropped my wallet on the rail tracks..."
- "Where's my parachute?"
- "No! Not THAT button!"
- "Daddy, what happens if my foot is stuck in the escalator?"
- "I can't swim!"
- "I have complete confidence that Joe can stop them... Oh, hi Joe."
- "Where's my pet tarantula?"
- "What are you going to do, kill me?"
- "I’ll dive anyway. A couple of cookies just a few minutes ago won't harm"
- "shit!!The red wire doesn’t go with the green wire?????"
- "Wow, honey... Are you fat or what?!"
- "Ah... ooooh.... aaaahhh... Oohhhhhhh... Betty... Err Susan err Suzy …. Sorry I mean Sophie"
- "Nice doggie, nice doggie"
- "Don't worry; the ice is thick enough"
- "Is that snake poisonous?"
- "I wonder if I can speed up to 160 mph"
- "Hmmm... best before 31/12/1980..."
- "Relax... I've done this before."
- "...I’ll volunteer for that circus lion trick"
- "3, 2, 1, bungeeeeeeeeee...."
- "what a beautiful baby bear... I wonder where its mother is...”
- "Watch this..."
- "Of course it's a bulletproof vest. Just shoot me and you see for yourself"
- "Looks good to me..."
- "You won't get me alive"
After I finished it, I showed it to my mum and all she did was roll her eyes but thankfully the look from her face was gone; Panaji airport was tiny but beautiful, and Goa was heaven, I’ll soon post about my Goan experience (the ultimate thing with me dancing on “babuji zaara dheere” in front of 300 odd people on the Paradise Cruise)
But for now, “that’s all folks!” ;)
